My actual first blog

So if any of you actually know me you know that I did NOT write my first blog!! That was written by my dear friend April who apparently wants me to be a totally different person when I get back. Hmm must be a sign!!

My first Blog

I'm not in Arizona yet, but I am anxiously awaiting the day I can leave. I look forward to this trip to try me to the max. I know that my heart is going to be broken (not the romantic kind of heart breaking but in a more spiritual sense) and frankly I'm scared. But don't tell anyone that. Shoot. I shouldn't have posted that online. Oh well. Openness. So refreshing. I have no idea what the future holds but a good friend of mine who has done missions before told me that whatever it is it is gonna be interesting...and life changing. I just hope it changes my life for the better. We're praying. Hopefully this blog will allow me to be more open with all of you. I know I appear to have a tough exterior but really I'm like caramel inside. mmmm...caramel. j/k. But yes, I know that God is preparing me to become more sensitive and caring because I know that is what BCM is going to need when I get back. Man, this is going to be hard...but good. I guess anything worth obtaining is worth going through difficulty. Vulnerability. It stinks. But it is required for growth. Gaaaaaah! I know I sound like a whiney baby. I guess you'll just have to get used to it. J/K. I'll try not to whine. I just have to get my feelings out. I feel vulnerable. I don't like vulnerability. Growth in the valley, right?